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Post by california on Sept 12, 2008 15:08:18 GMT
Religion freaks me out. I don't know why, it just does. Technically I'm catholic, and I'm in a catholic school, but I don't believe in any God.
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Post by G-Man on Sept 25, 2008 18:01:10 GMT
What is going on with the election at the moment?
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Post by meeshhead on Sept 25, 2008 18:23:18 GMT
What is going on with the election at the moment? The U.S economy is in deep sh*t! The Bush administration wants to bail out Wall Street by using $700 billion dollars of the tax payer's money. These big lenders are the cause of the U.S. economy going down the toilet in the first place, with their predatory mortgage lending practices, all with the help of the Bush people . McCain, aside from all of his lies and erratic behavior, wants Friday's tv debate cancelled, so he can "help" with the bail out plan in Washington. So, he's misleading the voters into thinking that he's "helping", and at the same time he's cowering out of the debates. The latest polls show the 2 candidates even, which I find unbelievable! |
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Post by Jo Pearson on Sept 25, 2008 23:45:44 GMT
Yeah, the whole thing with the economy stinks - but it's not all that much better here in the UK right now either......
On a brighter note, here's something a friend here in Manchester sent me to help cheer me up - hope you like it!
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
1. Then look up aluminum, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour', 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let M*crosoft know on your behalf. The M*crosoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter and Real Ales will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine", so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play Rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body Armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
14. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
15. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
16. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
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Post by meeshhead on Sept 25, 2008 23:54:40 GMT
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Post by Jo Pearson on Sept 26, 2008 0:05:35 GMT
Glad you liked it, hun!! And yeah, the whole pronunciation and spelling thing is so true - You wouldn't believe the number of times at school the teachers used to have a go at me for saying or spelling things "wrongly"!!!.....  ;D (And here in the UK, it always makes people look twice when they hear a "Yank"who can actually say aluminium and tomato correctly!!  ;D) |
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Post by G-Man on Sept 26, 2008 18:31:12 GMT
That was great Jo!
50/50! I thought it was more the Democrat's way than that! Personally I feel sorry for the American tax payers who took out reasonable mortgages and have met the repayments. 700 billion is a hell of lot of their money. How did it get to this point whereby the bail-out is the only reasonable option! I suppose it must have been out of the President's mind when he was out looking for Bin Laden (even though he was weeks slow in launching a search), grabbing the oil from Iraq and spreading Democracy (by force), and playing rounds of golf. Tough crowd, huh...
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Post by meeshhead on Sept 26, 2008 18:42:37 GMT
That was great Jo! 50/50! I thought it was more the Democrat's way than that! Personally I feel sorry for the American tax payers who took out reasonable mortgages and have met the repayments. 700 billion is a hell of lot of their money. How did it get to this point whereby the bail-out is the only reasonable option! I suppose it must have been out of the President's mind when he was out looking for Bin Laden (even though he was weeks slow in launching a search), grabbing the oil from Iraq and spreading Democracy (by force), and playing rounds of golf. Tough crowd, huh... Yup, welcome to America! The Bush crowd deregulated the mortgage banking industry, and just watched it decline until it got to this point. And now, when McCain wins the election, the same group of people will be back in office for another 4 years. |
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Post by meeshhead on Oct 9, 2008 0:38:43 GMT
Since the U.S. economy just took a sh*t, Obama is way up in the polls. The "experts" are now saying that if no other major event happens between now and Election Day (Nov. 4), Obama should win!   |
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Post by Jo Pearson on Oct 9, 2008 0:41:36 GMT
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Post by Mischa is my life! on Oct 9, 2008 19:57:49 GMT
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. OH gawd. My second woman in the world. SHE OWNS ME. *swoons at 00:50*  |
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Post by meeshhead on Oct 9, 2008 20:13:45 GMT
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Post by calirose02 on Oct 9, 2008 20:17:41 GMT
very funny Jo  I agree with proper chips and tea, my sugesstion must eat cucumber sandwiches, watch Andy Murray play tennis on Henamn Hill, play polo and be able to laugh |
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Post by G-Man on Oct 13, 2008 18:54:24 GMT
Goooooooo Democrats! news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7668020.stmAll though not strictly America related, but erm... this is worrying. Time to end the privatisation of the banking sector, surely! I mean, if the Government is bailing out these companies with taxpayers money, why shouldn't we just own them! |
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Post by meeshhead on Oct 19, 2008 18:49:42 GMT
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